$16 a pint, in this economy? Stuff that, I’m starting a moonshine side-hustle

I avoided acquiring taste for as long as possible. Mostly because taste is expensive. The more taste you acquire, the more you have to shell out for a comparable product, but one which gets you more nods of approval as you set about socially climbing in earnest.

I speak from bitter experience. During one lockdown or another, I invested in my tastebuds. Masked up, I would enter my local bottle shop in search of craft beer, desperate for a new experience among the unending monotony of curfewed life. I would find beers with exceptional can designs and phrases such as “NEIPA” and “hazy pale” which made me feel special. Then I’d close my eyes to avoid seeing the cost, tap my phone and leave to pursue my latest dumb man hobby.

But that was 2021, when life cost a reasonable amount and there was less to spend on. Now it’s 2024, your mortgage hurts to your very bones, the kids are only allowed to do free activities such as “pick up a stick” and “constant wailing”, and eating anything other than instant ramen is frivolity.Credit:Even when you avoid the trap of taste, the surging cost of being alive means you still get stung. This year, footy fans at the MCG will have to shell out $11.

I’m no expert, but doesn’t wine require large areas of land covered in vines which fruit at inconvenient times and require pickers and a bit of stomping? That’s to say nothing of the barrels, which must be rather hard to make for the world’s last few coopers.

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