Commentary: Is it really okay to ask friends for a ride? Here's why it's important to do favours for each other
In the posts and comments agreeing with Ms Sanchez, I was struck to see that so many of us believe we should refrain from extending the simplest, most everyday gestures of kindness to our own friends.In a previous workplace, a colleague helped me purchase a sandwich from 7-Eleven one morning. In return, I stopped by our usual coffee haunt after lunch and bought her an iced drink.After all, it was only S$0.99. The smallest of favours.
But it turns out that in general, people want their loved ones to “bother” them, showed a 2022 study published by the American Psychological Association — even though those reaching out may feel the gesture is insignificant.The problem is that the capitalist nature of our lives encourages us to view our very selves as a collection of practical resources to be carefully expended.
On top of that, with so much automation and convenience around us, we have the perfect excuse to avoid helping our friends in ways that used to be commonplace, and instead suggest services that would do the same at a monetary cost.With mental health awareness now at the forefront in many aspects of life, we’ve all heard the rhetoric that our personal needs should come first.
We need to be careful that our boundaries do not block us from connecting with those we care about — that “self-care” doesn’t become self-centredness. Baby boomers are also more likely to help those around them, knowing that that gesture might not ever get repaid. A 2017 National University of Singapore study showed that the older Singaporeans are, the more inclined they are to volunteer, with senior citizens particularly generous with those who are socially distant.
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Source: ChannelNewsAsia - 🏆 6. / 66 Read more »