I’ve discovered that cats, extrusions of our human souls, have much to teach us about how to use email to our advantage.
Like it or not, relationships are about power, leverage and advantage. In face-to-face conversations, verbal and nonverbal communication is often about positioning yourself in relation to others so that you can achieve your goals and reinforce your sense of self. That doesn’t mean we have to be jerks. But confidence surely matters in our presentation of ourselves.
The effect is to communicate relative indifference. People who initiate email conversations may respond instantly and be overly verbose in their email threads, communicating a perhaps too-eager desire to please. But particularly with email, the flip side holds true, as well. In the absence of nonverbal cues and tonal signaling, it becomes even more important in email relationships to communicate confidence and a professionally styled regal dignity. There is simply too much opportunity for people to misread your intentions and your state of mind. So you need continually to balance those two goals — being caring and solicitous, while also projecting confidence and dignity — in your email outreach.